You know, I’ve never given a single thought to the anniversary date of my adoption. Each year has come and gone for the past 44 years, and I have lived in silent disregard. It’s not that I purposely ignored it. I guess it’s just never been something of significance to me – until this year. I don’t ever remember celebrating this date with my adoptive parents. Did my mom ever talk about it? I don’t think so. It makes me wonder if other adoptive families celebrate the anniversary of their child’s adoption? Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine who adopted a little girl from China back in 1997, the same year our daughter was born. She happened to mention that it was the anniversary of her daughter’s adoption. I congratulated her and offered my encouragement, but it didn’t dawn on me that celebrating the anniversary of an adopted child is something special. I realized this week that December 16th is my adoption anniversary. It was the day that my adoption became official. That’s today! I wonder if my adoptive parents ever thought about that day as each December 16th rolled by? I don’t feel bad that we didn’t celebrate. I’m just happy to recognize now that this day, the 16th, is the day I became Marijane Chaling Buck, the daughter of Wendell and Gloria Buck.
I wish that my adoptive parents were still living so that I could thank them for giving me so much more than words can express. I find it hard to put it down in words. I never doubted their love for me. I wish that I had thanked them more when they were living. I would also want to thank my birth parents, though I will never have that opportunity, especially my biological mom. What would I say to her? Thank you for giving me up so that I could be provided for in ways that you and my biological father could not afford? Thank you for your sacrifice in doing so? I wish that I could have known you a little, or at least seen a picture of you…I know that girls were often given up for adoption because boys were more desirable, and mothers were frequently coerced by their husbands to give up baby girls, although I don’t know for sure if this was the case in my situation.
In past posts, I’ve written about how my parents adopted me based on my mom’s diary entries (my adoption…the beginning, a mystery letter found). I went back to re-read some of my old posts, and it made me realize that there is so much my parents didn’t tell me about my adoption. Of course, I’m curious, although it has taken many years for the curiosity to ignite. In any case, I’m happy to recognize my adoption anniversary. I’m celebrating with my family. Nothing big, just going out to my favorite Vietnamese restaurant.