The day of my mother’s funeral just over 3 years ago was a day that changed my life. It was a day of saying good-bye, and yet it was also a day of new beginnings. On that day, I recovered a link to my past that had been missing for 41 years of my life. I had an inkling that such a link existed, but no hope or clue as to how to find it. It sat in a box in my parent’s attic preserved for many years until the day my sister dragged it out and presented it to me. This link has led me on a journey to try and find any living members of my birth family in Taiwan.
My mom hid these documents carefully from the time she and my dad brought me home from the orphanage in Taiwan. It moved with us each time we moved due to my dad’s military career in the Air Force. Sometimes I wonder if she ever wanted to give me my adoption contract and all the other things she saved. She never spoke of them. Around 1999, mom started to develop symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, and the last 10 years of her life were hell. I’m sure that she didn’t even remember that the adoption papers existed upstairs in the dank, dusty old attic. I find it surreptitious that while she was living, she didn’t tell me about those papers. However, the day of her funeral when we went back to the house and I opened up that box, it was as though she were saying, “Here, I want you to have these things now. They belong to you. I want you to know about your past, about your birth family.” Really, I imagined her saying those very things to me and believe she willed me to find that box.
When I thought that I’d lost my adoption contract last week, I was heartbroken. We moved at the beginning of the year, and in all the frenzy, I guess I lost track of that box. I had no idea it was missing. After waiting 41 years to find something so important, was I to lose it now? I looked through the boxes in our garage to no avail. I looked through the boxes in my husband’s closet, but didn’t find anything. Luckily, my husband went through the boxes in his office one more time, and sure enough, the box was there! I couldn’t believe that I’d overlooked it, but was ecstatic.
You see, two weeks ago, I received an email from an old contact, Tien, who has been helping me search for my birth family in Taiwan for almost a year now. Her message came out of the blue, as I’ve tried contacting her for several months with no response. I was surprised, yet really happy to hear from her. She told me that she hadn’t forgotten about me and that she’d found one of my birth sisters in Taiwan through the Registration Office in Taipei while on visit there. She also told me that my birth parents had passed away long ago. The officials would not give Tien the name or address of the woman who could be my sister because she was not related. Tien therefore sent me a link to an agency in Taiwan that provides reunion services for adoptees and their birth families. I completed the reunion service request form and sent them a copy of my adoption contract, but apparently there was a page missing, the most important one. It became necessary for me to find the original contract because the missing document, the “household document” was most needed to begin the search. Thankfully, having found the original papers, I was able to scan and email what I believed to be the correct page. I’ve never been so grateful for advanced technology!
So now, it’s time once again to wait. Wait and see if the person Tien discovered is really one of my birth sisters. I wish that I could fly to Taiwan and do all of this in person. It would just be so much easier. If it is my birth sister, I hope she’ll want to meet me. In that case, I’ll be on a flight to Taiwan somehow, someway. I know that if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. I just have to wait, the hardest part of all.