my mysterious adoption

journey to unravel my past

Imagine your whole life believing that you are one thing and then learning in mid-life that you are not what you have always believed you were. Let me explain. When I was four months old, I was adopted by a white American family from Taipei, Taiwan. My dad was a lieutenant colonel in the U.S. Air Force, and he and my mom were stationed in Okinawa when I was adopted. My parents provided some information about my adoption, but I knew very little about my birth family or birth culture. I always believed that I was Vietnamese and Japanese. That’s what they told me, that’s what I believed. I had no reason to question what I’d been told. After my mom passed away in 2008, however, I made a discovery about my adoption that changed everything.

My mom struggled with Alzheimer’s disease for several years. Before she passed away, my sister began rummaging through my parents’ attic in an attempt to get rid of junk. There were tons of boxes stored there, and none of us had a clue what was inside them. As it turned out, one of them contained some very surprising things. After mom’s funeral in 2008, I began to sort through each box. Some contained remnants of my dad’s military stuff from World War II, things that are very meaningful to me now, like old photos from his youth, flight records, clues to his military past which I knew so little of. Then in one box, I stumbled upon the original contract of my adoption plus other keepsakes that my mom had stowed away and never told me about. I knew something of my past had to exist somewhere, but never had any motivation to search up in the attic. The most curious thing of all was a picture of my mom holding me in her lap in what appeared to be the orphanage where I was placed for adoption, although I can’t be certain. A small baby bed, its railings rusted with peeling paint, is situated just behind us. I found safety pins that probably held together my cloth diapers and baby shower cards congratulating my mom on her new addition to the family. I was stunned and excited about these new finds and that I’d finally found some tangible link to my mysterious adoption. At the same time I felt a little sad that my parents never shared these things with me.

journey to unravel my past

At the beginning of this year I went back to Bossier City, Louisiana to salvage what I could from my parents’ home. It all seemed so surreal knowing that this would be my last visit to the house I grew up in before it sold. I shipped back home tons of old pictures, an antique grandfather clock that’s been in Mom’s family forever, LP’s of Glen Miller music, and several of Dad’s military awards, plaques, and old service records. So many memories came flooding back as I unpacked all the boxes and unwrapped each little item. It saddens me that neither of my adoptive parents are here anymore. We’ll never get the chance to clear things up about my adoption. It’s up to me now to figure it out.

journey to unravel my pastSince coming back home to Arizona, I’ve thought more and more about my adoption and decided to begin a search for my birthfamily. I sent my adoption contract to an adoption agency specializing in placing children from Taiwan with American families. Surprisingly, I learned from one of the caseworkers that my birth parents were not Vietnamese and Japanese, but very possibly from Taiwan. Could I be Taiwanese? For years I have explained to people that I was born in Taiwan, but am really Japanese and Vietnamese adopted by white parents. I had to further explain why I had a southern accent. The fact that I didn’t exactly look like either of my parents also raised a few questions and illicited some stares, especially having lived in a predominantly white area.  It will be so much easier now to just tell people that I’m Taiwanese and not give them the whole story of my background.

I’m not sure how the search for my birthfamily will go. Chances are that neither of my birth parents are still living. My birth mother was 39 and birth father, 55 when I was born. Still puzzling to me is why my mom told me that I was Japanese and Vietnamese. Did the translation get mixed up, or was it all fabricated? It’s hard for me to believe that my parents would purposely lie to me. Perhaps it will always remain a mystery.

Discovering things I never knew about my adoption and digging into my past has led to an awakening, a desire to understand my cultural heritage. I am more curious now than ever before about my birth family. Do I look like any of them, does anyone else in my birth family have an affinity for music, are there any health issues to be concerned about, was it difficult for my birth parents to relinquish me, did they ever want to see me? Questions that adoptees sometimes ask themselves. Although I may never find out anything other than what’s preserved on my adoption contract, I hope that won’t be the case. 

13 thoughts on “my mysterious adoption

  1. Pingback: something autumn this way comes – beyond two worlds

  2. Pingback: become – beyond two worlds

  3. Pingback: Roots | Beyond Two Worlds

  4. Pingback: what adoptive parents should know | beyond two worlds

  5. Pingback: A Taiwanese American Adoptee’s Journey and Search for Identity

  6. winterfruit

    Hi Marijane,

    Do the words Family Planning Association of China, Taipei City mean anything to you?
    I was adopted at the age of 3 via that organisation, but unlike you got delivered to London, Heathrow in the summer of 1970.

    The thought of going back to recover the lost, forgotten roots of my beginnings has been with me for a very long time.

    My latest idea is to take a beginners course in Mandarin. I never managed to hold on to my chinese, as I’m sure you can appreciate, due to the necessity of having to learn English as quickly as possible.

    I never actually added anything to my blog here, since I didn’t really know what to write, but I joined anyhow. (I am at Facebook though, so if you’re further interested in exchanging stories I am always contactable there)

    best wishes,
    ma-li calder

    Like

    Reply
    1. Marijane Post author

      ma-li,

      Thank you so much for your response! I was also adopted through Family Planning Association of China! I would love to exchange stories with you. I have had a growing preoccupation with trying to discover my roots back in Taiwan but seem to have hit a road block. I’m not sure now where exactly to go. I have also considered learning Mandarin and traveling to Taiwan. I very much look forward to talking with you!

      Like

      Reply
      1. JW

        I adopted my son from Taiwan in 2006. I was born and raised in Taiwan, so I am bilingual. We travel back to Taiwan every year and are schedule to fly back on Saturday.
        Regarding your search, there are a couple of ways that you can try to locate your biological families. The most effeceint way is through the police station and a “good” Household registra office if you have the original adoption documents (in Chinese will be the best.) Another way is through news media report. Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you need someone to bounce ideas off.

        Like

      2. Marijane Post author

        Hi Jackie,
        Thanks for your comments! It’s nice to connect with you, and I appreciate your advice on the best way to search for my bio sister. I’d love to get in touch with you to talk about Taiwan. I’m hoping to get to the household registration office, hopefully the right one. I do have my original adoption contract and baby passport. It was once suggested to me to contact a local newspaper to search. Haven’t taken that approach because I’d hoped to hear from the agency in Taiwan since they were able to locate what appears to be one of my bio sister’s addresses. We’ll see what unfolds. Still waiting.

        Again, thanks for contacting me!
        MJ

        Like

  7. Beth

    Fantastic first entry Marijane! I am very much looking forward to following your journey! Your parents showed a love for you that I did not understand at the time. You were very, very lucky to have had the wonderful parents that you had.

    Like

    Reply
  8. Carole Ann

    Hi, Marijane. Yes, you do have your blog set up so we can leave comments. I left original comments on the blog page of MWAM.

    I am so glad you are blogging and sharing your story of discovering your history. I look forward to taking the journey with you.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s